Monday, May 19, 2008
at
11:17 PM
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Early this evening while smoking and waiting for my friend along Hamdan Street, a man in mid or late thirties approached me. The man asked me if I was a Filipino. I proudly said yes, of course. He voluntarily handed me his mobile and said, "Please talk to this woman". Though apprehensive, I took the phone and started to hear a woman’s voice roaring like a lioness.
Me: Hello, Kabayan?
Woman: Hello, sino ‘to?
Me: Kabayan, lumapit sa akin ‘yung mama. Kausapin daw kita. May problema?
Woman: Oo. ‘Yang hayop na yan! Nasan kayo? Kanina pa ako paikot-ikot dito.
Me: Kabayan, nandito kami along Hamdan Street. Sa harap ng Emirates General Supermarket. Nasaan ka ba?
Woman: Saan yan? Nandito din ako sa Hamdan. Sa may Safari Fashion (Indian boutique on the opposite side of Hamdan street. Maybe some 300 meters away from where we were standing). Lintek ’yang hayup na yan! Kanina pa ako dito nag-intay. Pinaikot-ikot pa ako! Hayup talaga yan!
Me: Naku nandyan ka lang pala. Nandito kami sa labas ng Emirates General Supermarket. Hindi mo ba nakikita yung signboard?
Woman: Walanghiya talaga ‘yang hayup na ‘yan! Galing ako dyan kanina. Sabi nya sa supermarket daw! Sa Co-op (Abu Dhabi Cooperative Soceity is located more or less 1 kilometer away from Emirates general Supermarket) ako nag-punta!
Me (puzzled): Bakit dun ka pa pumunta? Supermarket din naman ‘to di ba?
Woman: Sabi nya nga supermarket! Hayup talaga ‘yan! Pinapagod pa ako ng walanghiyang hayup na yan!
Me: Ano kabayan, papuntahin ko ba siya dyan sa Safari o ikaw na lang pupunta dito?
Woman: Hindi hindi! (Nahiya pa si kabayan. Alam ko naman ang gimik nya)Alam mo ba yung Standard Chartered Bank?
Me: Oo. Nasa tapat nga kami nun.
Woman: O sige sabihin mo sa walanghiyang hayup na yan tumawid sya sa underpass para masagasaan na yang hayup na yan!
Me: Huh? Masagasaan sa underpass?
Woman: Basta sabihin mo sa tapat ng Standard Chartered Bank pumunta yang hayup na yan! Pinagod talaga ako ng hayup na yan!
Me: Okay kabayan, relaks lang. Sige. Sabihin ko na lang sa kanya.
Woman: Saan yan? Nandito din ako sa Hamdan. Sa may Safari Fashion (Indian boutique on the opposite side of Hamdan street. Maybe some 300 meters away from where we were standing). Lintek ’yang hayup na yan! Kanina pa ako dito nag-intay. Pinaikot-ikot pa ako! Hayup talaga yan!
Me: Naku nandyan ka lang pala. Nandito kami sa labas ng Emirates General Supermarket. Hindi mo ba nakikita yung signboard?
Woman: Walanghiya talaga ‘yang hayup na ‘yan! Galing ako dyan kanina. Sabi nya sa supermarket daw! Sa Co-op (Abu Dhabi Cooperative Soceity is located more or less 1 kilometer away from Emirates general Supermarket) ako nag-punta!
Me (puzzled): Bakit dun ka pa pumunta? Supermarket din naman ‘to di ba?
Woman: Sabi nya nga supermarket! Hayup talaga ‘yan! Pinapagod pa ako ng walanghiyang hayup na yan!
Me: Ano kabayan, papuntahin ko ba siya dyan sa Safari o ikaw na lang pupunta dito?
Woman: Hindi hindi! (Nahiya pa si kabayan. Alam ko naman ang gimik nya)Alam mo ba yung Standard Chartered Bank?
Me: Oo. Nasa tapat nga kami nun.
Woman: O sige sabihin mo sa walanghiyang hayup na yan tumawid sya sa underpass para masagasaan na yang hayup na yan!
Me: Huh? Masagasaan sa underpass?
Woman: Basta sabihin mo sa tapat ng Standard Chartered Bank pumunta yang hayup na yan! Pinagod talaga ako ng hayup na yan!
Me: Okay kabayan, relaks lang. Sige. Sabihin ko na lang sa kanya.
And the line was dead… Sabi ko na lang, “Salamat kabayan!”
While talking to the lady, I was looking on the opposite side of the street where this Safari Fashion is located. I saw an overweight Filipina woman in her mid to late thirties) in black fitted blouse (long-sleeves pa) and black jeans walking towards Standard Chartered Bank. Naka stiletto heels pa ata si kabayan. Since summer started some weeks ago, it was so damn hot. More or less mga 40 deg C siguro. She was so irritated. I had a clear vision of her gestures whenever I hear the word “hayup” during our phone conversation. I clearly instructed the man to cross the street, use the underpass and meet the Filipina lady on the opposite site of the street in front of the bank. I learned that he is from Morocco. He was delighted when I said that I visited his country more than three times already. He told me to inform him when I will visit Casablanca again. And I said okay, and told him that the lady is already waiting on the other side of the street. Though inaudible, I imagined from where I was standing how the filthy words started to get out of the mouth of this lady kabayan. Maybe it’s as filthy as how she smelled right at that very moment with her all-black attire and temperature nearly 40 degrees.
The poor Moroccan started cleaning up the mess the moment he approached this lady kabayan! And then I started to think, maybe an action-packed bedroom adventure will follow shortly! Hehehe. OFW - Bagong bayani? Tingin nyo?
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I had my last puff when my friend Mon showed up. He handed me the DVDs and told me a horrible story that happened to his colleague. A local woman filed a case of sexual harassment against his colleague. This local woman felt harassed when kabayan smiled at her and his (Mon’s friend) left shoulder accidentally touched this local lady‘s right shoulder while walking inside a mall. Well, knowing that we are in the Arab world, I am no longer surprised. Mon added that this local woman is very much willing to drop the case against this kabayan if he would pay 10,000 AE dirhams (roughly around PhP 120,000) for the “damages”. Mon's friend had no choice and decided to quit his job, pack his things and go back to Manila. Kabayan will be finishing his two-year contract sana this coming July 2008. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.
Na-devirginize ata yung babae sa ngiti ni kabayan. Hehehe. Ibang-iba talaga ang pinoy. Ngiti pa lang naka-donselya na!
Posted by
rehabman
Labels:
Kabayan,
OFW,
Pinoy in Abu Dhabi,
Pinoys
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