Tuesday, April 29, 2008 at 9:05 PM |

Today, it’s my 11th month anniversary away from home. I am surprised and glad to know that I am still here. I am still alive and trying my very best to survive of my ever boring and tiring life as a private servant.

Life was never easy here. As I have previously said, I experienced almost everything here. I’ve been through a lot of emotional and mental stresses. Since I came here, my real happy days correspond to the number of fingers I have. Almost everyday was like a torture to me - physically, psychologically and emotionally. I know I am not at my very best. I know I have to do something while I am still young and more importantly while I still can. Yes, I am considering going back home and start all over again. I do not exactly know when will it be but I have to make the decision not later but sooner. I have to go and safe myself. I am slowly breaking apart here.

Today I am celebrating my 11th month. Though I wanted to celebrate it, but I cannot because I have to save some penny. I just went to Marina Mall alone this afternoon and bought a snack from Sbarro. The friends that I have here are not available to join me for they were working. I also bought some stuff for Nanay, Tatay, Kaye and Agie. Buying something for them makes me feel happy. After all, they are on the short list of my reasons why I accepted this job.

Tomorrow will be another day for me, another battle for boredom and frustration. I am waking up again and have to stand all the politics, hypocrisy, deceit and cruelty here in the world where I belong. I have to start thinking again how the hell I am spending it. But first, I have to check if there is something special for me on the dinner table. Oh, sh*t, I forgot, I am just a servant here. Then I say once more, good Lord please help me…

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The dirty finger goes to all the monsters around me here. I do not want to name names. God knows who they are.
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